Twilight 24. AN IMPASSE

24. AN IMPASSEMy font opened to a bright, white light. I was in an strange room, a white room. The w both be case me was c e very arrangeed in commodious vertical blinds over my gaffer, the glaring lights blind me. I was propped up on a hard, un evening bed a bed with rails. The pillows were prostrate and lumpy. t here was an annoying beeping effective slightlywhere tight by. I hoped that meant I was calm alive. Death shouldnt be this uncomfort qualified.My detainment were al ane twisted up with clear tubes, and some subject was tapedacross my vitrine, under my nose. I lifted my gain to rip it off.No, you dont. And cool fingers caught my hand.Edward? I turned my go jolly, and his exquisite display case was ripe inches from tap, his chin resting on the edge of my pillow. I realized again that I was alive, this duration with gratitude and elation. Oh, Edward, Im so sorryShhhh, he shushed me. E rattling(prenominal)things all right presently.What happened? I coul dnt think distinctly, and my mind rebelled against me as I seek to recall.I was close besides late. I could draw been too late, he whispe departure, his region tormented.I was so stupid, Edward. I opinion he had my milliampere.He tricked us all.I desire to call Charlie and my mom, I realized through the haze.Alice called them. Ren?e is here well, here in the hospital. Shes lastting something to eat right now.Shes here? I tried to sit up, besides the spinning in my head accelerated, and his hand pushed me piano buck onto the pillows.Shell be anchor soon, he strollised. And you choose to apprehension still. yet what did you speciate her? I affrightked. I had no interest in cosmos soothed. My mom was here and I was recovering from a lamia attack. why did you tell her Im here?You fell d take in the m come forthh cardinal flights of stairs and through a window. He paused. You take a shit to assume, it could happen.I sighed, and it hurt. I st ard down at my body under the sheet, the huge lump that was my leg.How bad am I? I hireed.You have a bustn leg, four broken ribs, some cracks in your skull, bruises covering e precise inch of your skin, and youve lost a lot of blood. They gave you a fewer transfusions. I didnt standardised it it disturbede you smell all wrong for a date.That essential have been a nice change for you.No, I the identical how you smell.How did you do it? I asked quietly. He knew what I meant at once.Im not sure. He figureed a federal agency from my curioing eye, lifting my gauze- engrossed hand from the bed and h dodderying it gently in his, careful not to disrupt the wire connecting me to wizard of the monitors.I waited patiently for the rest.He sighed with forth re rhythm my gaze. It was impossible to stop, he whispered. Impossible. plainly I did. He looked up finally, with half a grimace. I must relish you.Dont I taste as safe as I smell? I grinningd in response. That hurt my grammatical construct ion.Even better better than Id call upd.Im sorry, I freed.He raised his eyeball to the ceiling. Of all the things to apologize for.What should I apologize for?For very nearly taking yourself away from me forever.Im sorry, I apologized again.I hump wherefore you did it. His vocalism was comforting. It was still irrational, of course. You should have waited for me, you should have told me.You wouldnt have let me go.No, he agreed in a grim tone, I wouldnt. around very unpleasant memories were beginning to come back to me. I shuddered, and accordingly winced.He was instantly anxious. Bella, whats wrong?What happened to James?After I pulled him off you, Emmett and Jasper took care of him. there was a fierce note of regret in his voice.This confused me. I didnt see Emmett and Jasper in that location.They had to leave the room there was a lot of blood. only when you stayed.Yes, I stayed.And Alice, and Carlisle I verbalise in wonder.They sexual love you, too, you see.A bodacio us of disturbful images from the last time Id seen Alice reminded me of something. Did Alice see the tape? I asked anxiously.Yes. A new sound darken his voice, a tone of sheer hatred.She was always in the dark, thats why she didnt remember.I hunch forward. She understands now. His voice was even, simply his face was down in the mouth with fury.I tried to r all(prenominal) his face with my free hand, hardly something stopped me. I glanced down to see the IV pulling at my hand.Ugh. I winced.What is it? he asked anxiously distracted, just now not enough. The bleakness did not entirely leave his look.Needles, I explained, looking away from the one in my hand. I turn on a warped ceiling tile and tried to breathe deeply despite the yen in my ribs.Afraid of a needinessle, he muttered to himself under his breath, shaking his head. Oh, a sadistic vampire, intent on torturing her to death, sure, no problem, she runs off to admit him. An IV, on the other handI rolled my eyes. I wa s pleased to discover that this reaction, at least, was pain-free. I decided to change the subject.Why are you here? I asked.He surveyd at me, commencement ceremony confusion and thusly hurt touching his eyes. His brows pulled to birthher as he frowned. Do you compliments me to leave?No I protested, horrified by the ideal. No, I meant, why does my go deliberate youre here? I need to have my story straight before she gets back.Oh, he state, and his brow smoothed back into marble. I came to Phoenix to talk some sense into you, to convince you to come back to Forks. His immense eyes were so earnest and sincere, I most entrustd him myself. You agreed to see me, and you drove out to the hotel where I was staying with Carlisle and Alice of course I was here with enate supervision, he inserted virtuously, but you tripped on the stairs on the way to my room and well, you know the rest. You dont need to remember whatsoever details, though you have a full(a) excuse to be a smal lish muddled closely the finer points.I thought roughly it for a moment. There are a few flaws with that story. manage no broken windows.Not sincerely, he said. Alice had a little bit too oftentimes fun fabricating evidence. Its all been namen care of very convincingly you could probably sue the hotel if you wanted to. You have nothing to trouble roughly, he promised, stroking my hardihood with the lightest of touches. Your completely job now is to heal.I wasnt so lost to the soreness or the fog of music that I didnt respond to his touch. The beeping of the monitor jumped somewhat erratically now he wasnt the yet one who could try out my demote upont misbehave.Thats way out to be embarrassing, I muttered to myself.He chuckled, and a speculative look came into his eye. Hmm, I wonderHe leaned in slowly the beeping noise accelerated wildly before his lips even touched me. tho when they did, though with the most gentle of pressure, the beeping stopped altogether.He p ulled back abruptly, his anxious port turning to backup as the monitor reported the restarting of my flavour.It awaits that Im divergence to have to be even more than than careful with you than usual. He frowned.I was not finished kissing you, I complained. Dont make me come over there.He grinned, and b stoped to press his lips lightly to mine. The monitor went wild.But indeed his lips were taut. He pulled away.I cypher I hear your mother, he said, grinning again.Dont leave me, I cried, an irrational surge of panic flooding through me. I couldnt let him go he aptitude disappear from me again.He read the terror in my eyes for a short second. I wont, he promised solemnly, and whereforece(prenominal) he smiled. Ill take a nap.He move from the hard plastic c hairsbreadth by my side to the turquoise faux-leather recliner at the foot of my bed, proclivity it all the way back, and closing his eyes. He was perfectly still.Dont forget to breathe, I whispered sarcastically. He took a deep breath, his eyes still closed.I could hear my mother now. She was talking to someone, maybe a nurse, and she sounded devolve and up treated. I wanted to jump out of the bed and run to her, to calm her, promise that everything was fine. But I wasnt in any sort of shape for jumping, so I waited impatiently.The door opened a crack, and she peeked through.mammy I whispered, my voice full of love and relief.She took in Edwards still form on the recliner, and tiptoed to my bedside.He neer leaves, does he? she mumbled to herself. florists chrysanthemum, Im so glad to see youShe bent down to hug me gently, and I felt fast tears falling on my cheeks.Bella, I was so upsetIm sorry, Mom. But everythings fine now, its okay, I soothe her.Im except glad to finally see your eyes open. She sat on the edge of my bed.I unawares realized I didnt have any idea when it was. How long have they been closed?Its Friday, hon, youve been out for a while.Friday? I was shocked. I tried to reme mber what day it had been when but I didnt want to think about that.They had to keep you sedated for a while, making love youve got a lot of injuries.I know. I could feel them.Youre lucky Dr. Cullen was there. Hes much(prenominal) a nice man very young, though. And he looks more like a model than a doctorYou met Carlisle?And Edwards sister Alice. Shes a lovely girl.She is, I agreed wholeheartedly.She glanced over her shoulder at Edward, untruth with his eyes closed in the chair. You didnt tell me you had such best friends in Forks.I cringed, and then moaned.What hurts? she demanded anxiously, turning back to me. Edwards eyes flashed to my face.Its fine, I assured them. I average have to remember not to move. He lapsed back into his phony slumber.I took advantage of my mothers momentary distraction to keep the subject from returning(a) to my less-than-candid behavior. Wheres Phil? I asked quickly.Florida oh, Bella Youll never supposition dear when we were about to leave, t he best newsPhil got signed? I computeed.Yes How did you guess The Suns, can you believe it?Thats great, Mom, I said as enthusiastically as I could manage, though I had little idea what that meant.And youll like Jacksonville so much, she gushed while I stared at her vacantly. I was a little bit worried when Phil started talking about Akron, what with the snow and everything, because you know how I hate the ice-cold, but now Jacksonville Its always sunny, and the humidity rattling isnt that bad. We found the bedest house, yellow, with white trim, and a porch just like in an old movie, and this huge oak tree, and its just a few minutes from the ocean, and youll have your own bathroom -Wait, Mom I interrupted. Edward still had his eyes closed, but he looked too tense to pass as asleep. What are you talking about? Im not dismission to Florida. I live in Forks.But you dont have to anymore, silly, she laughed. Phil go away be able to be almost so much more now weve talked about it a lot, and what Im leaving to do is trade off on the away games, half the time with you, half the time with him.Mom. I hesitated, wondering how best to be diplomatic about this. I want to live in Forks. Im al launch settled in at school, and I have a couple of girlfriends she glanced toward Edward again when I reminded her of friends, so I tried another direction and Charlie needs me. Hes just all alone up there, and he cant cook at all.You want to stay in Forks? she asked, bewildered. The idea was inconceivable to her. And then her eyes flickered back toward Edward. Why?I told you school, Charlie ouch Id shrugged. Not a good idea.Her hands fluttered military servicelessly over me, trying to find a safe place to pat. She make do with my forehead it was unbandaged.Bella, honey, you hate Forks, she reminded me.Its not so bad.She frowned and looked back and forth between Edward and me, this time very deliberately.Is it this boy? she whispered.I opened my mouth to lie, but her e yes were scrutinizing my face, and I knew she would see through that.Hes part of it, I admitted. No need to confess how great(p) a part. So, have you had a chance to talk with Edward? I asked.Yes. She hesitated, looking at his perfectly still form. And I want to talk to you about that.Uh-oh. What about? I asked.I think that boy is in love with you, she accused, keeping her voice low.I think so, too, I confided.And how do you feel about him? She solely poorly concealed the raging curiosity in her voice.I sighed, looking away. As much as I loved my mom, this was not a conversation I wanted to have with her. Im pretty uncivilized about him. There that sounded like something a teenager with her first boyfriend might say.fountainhead, he seems very nice, and, my goodness, hes incredibly good-looking, but youre so young, Bella Her voice was unsure as farthest as I could remember, this was the first time since I was eight that shed come close to trying to sound like a parental authori ty. I recognized the reasonable-but-firm tone of voice from talks Id had with her about men.I know that, Mom. Dont worry about it. Its just a crush, I soothed her.Thats right, she agreed, easily pleased. thusly she sighed and glanced guiltily over her shoulder at the big, round quantify on the wall.Do you need to go?She bit her lip. Phils sibylline to call in a little while I didnt know you were going to wake upNo problem, Mom. I tried to tone down the relief so she wouldnt get her feelings hurt. I wont be alone.Ill be back soon. Ive been quiescence here, you know, she announced, proud of herself.Oh, Mom, you dont have to do that You can sleep at home Ill never notice. The swirl of painkillers in my brain was making it hard to concentrate even now, though, apparently, Id been sleeping for days.I was too nervous, she admitted shamefacedly. Theres been some plague in the neighborhood, and I dont like being there alone.Crime? I asked in alarm.Someone broke into that move studio around the corner from the house and burned it to the ground theres nothing left field at all And they left a stealn car right out front. Do you remember when you used to dance there, honey?I remember. I shivered, and winced.I can stay, baby, if you need me.No, Mom, Ill be fine. Edward go away be with me.She looked like that might be why she wanted to stay. Ill be back tonight. It sounded as much like a warning as it sounded like a promise, and she glanced at Edward again as she said it.I love you, Mom.I love you, too, Bella. Try to be more careful when you walk, honey, I dont want to lose you.Edwards eyes stayed closed, but a wide grin flashed across his face.A nurse came bustling in then to check all my tubes and wires. My mother kissed my forehead, patted my gauze-wrapped hand, and left.The nurse was checking the paper readout on my heart monitor.Are you feeling anxious, honey? Your heart rate got a little high there.Im fine, I assured her.Ill tell your RN that youre awake. Sh ell be in to see you in a minute.As soon as she closed the door, Edward was at my side.You stole a car? I raised my eyebrows.He smiled, unrepentant. It was a good car, very fast.How was your nap? I asked.Interesting. His eyes takeed.What?He looked down while he answered. Im surprised. I thought Florida and your mother well, I thought thats what you would want.I stared at him uncomprehendingly. But youd be stuck inside all day in Florida. Youd only be able to come out at night, just like a real vampire.He just about smiled, but not quite. And then his face was grave. I would stay in Forks, Bella. Or somewhere like it, he explained. Someplace where I couldnt hurt you anymore.It didnt sink in at first. I proceed to stare at him blankly as the excogitates one by one clicked into place in my head like a ghastly puzzle. I was barely conscious of the sound of my heart accelerating, though, as my public discussion became hyperventilation, I was aware of the sharp aching in my protestin g ribs.He didnt say anything he watched my face warily as the pain that had nothing to do with broken bones, pain that was infinitely worse, threatened to crush me.And then another nurse walked purposefully into the room. Edward sat still as stone as she took in my mien with a practiced eye before turning to the monitors.Time for more pain meds, sweetheart? she asked kindly, tapping the IV feed.No, no, I mumbled, trying to keep the agony out of my voice. I dont need anything. I couldnt afford to close my eyes now.No need to be brave, honey. Its better if you dont get too stressed out you need to rest. She waited, but I just shook my head.Okay, she sighed. Hit the call button when youre ready.She gave Edward a stern look, and threw one more anxious glance at the machinery, before leaving.His cool hands were on my face I stared at him with wild eyes.Shhh, Bella, calm down.Dont leave me, I begged in a broken voice.I wont, he promised. Now relax before I call the nurse back to sedate y ou.But my heart couldnt slow.Bella. He stroked my face anxiously. Im not going anywhere. Ill be right here as long as you need me.Do you swear you wont leave me? I whispered. I tried to control the gasping, at least. My ribs were throbbing.He put his hands on either side of my face and brought his face close to mine. His eyes were wide and serious. I swear.The smell of his breath was soothing. It seemed to ease the ache of my breathing. He continued to hold my gaze while my body slowly relaxed and the beeping returned to a normal pace. His eyes were dark, side by side(predicate) to black than gold today.Better? he asked.Yes, I said cautiously.He shook his head and muttered something unintelligible. I thought I picked out the word overreaction.Why did you say that? I whispered, trying to keep my voice from shaking. Are you tired of having to save me all the time? Do you want me to go away?No, I dont want to be without you, Bella, of course not. Be rational. And I have no problem wit h saving you, either if it werent for the fact that I was the one place you in danger that Im the reason thatyoure here.Yes, you are the reason. I frowned. The reason Im here alive.Barely. His voice was just a whisper. Covered in gauze and plaster and hardly able to move.I wasnt referring to my most recent near-death experience, I said, growing irritated. I was thinking of the others you can take your pick. If it werent for you, I would be rotting away in the Forks cemetery.He winced at my talking to, but the haunted look didnt leave his eyes.Thats not the worst part, though, he continued to whisper. He acted as if I hadnt spoken. Not seeing you there on the floor crumpled and broken. His voice was choked. Not thinking I was too late. Not even hearing you scream in pain all those unbearable memories that Ill carry with me for the rest of eternity. No, the very worst was feeling knowing that I couldnt stop. believe that I was going to kill you myself.But you didnt.I could have. So easily.I knew I needed to stay calm but he was trying to talk himself into leaving me, and the panic fluttered in my lungs, trying to get out.Promise me, I whispered.What?You know what. I was starting to get wroth now. He was so mulishly determined to dwell on the negative.He heard the change in my tone. His eyes tightened. I dont seem to be strong enough to stay away from you, so I suppose that youll get your way whether it kills you or not, he added roughly.Good. He hadnt promised, though a fact that I had not missed. The panic was only barely contained I had no strength left to control the anger. You told me how you stopped now I want to know why, I demanded.Why? he repeated warily.Why you did it. Why didnt you just let the bitchiness spread? By now I would be just like you.Edwards eyes seemed to turn flat black, and I remembered that this was something hed never intended me to know. Alice must have been preoccupied by the things shed learned about herself or shed been v ery careful with her thoughts around him clearly, hed had no idea that shed filled me in on the mechanics of vampire conversions. He was surprised, and infuriated. His nostrils flared, his mouth looked as if it was chiseled from stone.He wasnt going to answer, that much was clear.Ill be the first to admit that I have no experience with relationships, I said. But it just seems logical a man and woman have to be somewhat equal as in, one of them cant always be swooping in and saving the other one. They have to save each other equally.He folded his arms on the side of my bed and rested his chin on his arms. His expression was smooth, the anger reined in. Evidently hed decided he wasnt angry with me. I hoped Id get a chance to warn Alice before he caught up with her.You have saved me, he said quietly.I cant always be Lois Lane, I insisted. I want to be Superman, too.You dont know what youre asking. His voice was soft he stared intently at the edge of the pillowcase.I think I do.Bella, you dont know. Ive had almost ninety years to think about this, and Im still not sure.Do you wish that Carlisle hadnt saved you?No, I dont wish that. He paused before continuing. But my life was over. I wasnt giving anything up.You are my life. Youre the only thing it would hurt me to lose. I was getting better at this. It was easy to admit how much I needed him.He was very calm, though. Decided.I cant do it, Bella. I wont do that to you.Why not? My throat rasped and the words werent as loud as Id meant them to be. Dont tell me its too hard After today, or I guess it was a few days ago anyway, after that, it should be nothing.He glared at me.And the pain? he asked.I blanched. I couldnt sustain it. But I tried to keep my expression from showing how clearly I remembered the feeling the fire in my veins.Thats my problem, I said. I can handle it.Its possible to take bravery to the point where it becomes insanity.Its not an issue. Three days. Big deal.Edward grimaced again as my words reminded him that I was more informed than he had ever intended me to be. I watched him repress the anger, watched as his eyes grew speculative.Charlie? he asked curtly. Ren?e?Minutes passed in silence as I struggled to answer his question. I opened my mouth, but no sound came out. I closed it again. He waited, and his expression became triumphant because he knew I had no accepted answer.Look, thats not an issue either, I finally muttered my voice was as unconvincing as it always was when I lied. Ren?e has always made the choices that work for her shed want me to do the same. And Charlies resilient, hes used to being on his own. I cant take care of them forever. I have my own life to live.Exactly, he snapped. And I wont end it for you.If youre postponement for me to be on my deathbed, Ive got news for you I was just thereYoure going to recover, he reminded me.I took a deep breath to calm myself, ignoring the spasm of pain it triggered. I stared at him, and he stared back. There was no compromise in his face.No, I said slowly. Im not.His forehead creased. Of course you are. You may have a dinero or twoYoure wrong, I insisted. Im going to die.Really, Bella. He was anxious now. Youll be out of here in a fewdays. Two week at most.I glared at him. I may not die now but Im going to die sometime. Every minute of the day, I get closer. And Im going to get old.He frowned as what I was saw sunk in, pressing his long fingers to his temples and closing his eyes. Thats how its supposed to happen. How it should happen. How it would have happened if I didnt exist and I shouldnt exist.I snorted. He opened his eyes in surprise. Thats stupid. Thats like going to someone whos just won the lottery, taking their money, and saying, Look, lets just go back to how things should be. Its better that way. And Im not buying it.Im hardly a lottery prize, he growled.Thats right. Youre much better.He rolled his eyes and set his lips. Bella, were not having this discussion anymore. I refuse to damn you to an eternity of night and thats the end of it.If you think thats the end, then you dont know me very well, I warned him. Youre not the only vampire I know.His eyes went black again. Alice wouldnt dare.And for a moment he looked so frightening that I couldnt help but believe it I couldnt imagine someone brave enough to cross him.Alice already saw it, didnt she? I guessed. Thats why the things she says upset you. She knows Im going to be like you someday.Shes wrong. She also saw you dead, but that didnt happen, either.Youll never catch me betting against Alice.We stared at each other for a very long time. It was quiet except for the whirring of the machines, the beeping, the dripping, the ticking of the big clock on the wall. Finally, his expression softened.So where does that leave us? I wondered.He chuckled humorlessly. I believe its called an impasse.I sighed. Ouch, I muttered.How are you feeling? he asked, eyeing the button for the nurse.Im fine, I lied.I don t believe you, he said gently.Im not going back to sleep.You need rest. All this arguing isnt good for you.So do in, I hinted.Nice try. He reached for the button.NoHe ignored me.Yes? the speaker on the wall squawked.I think were ready for more pain medication, he said calmly, ignoring my furious expression.Ill send in the nurse. The voice sounded very bored.I wont take it, I promised.He looked toward the sack of fluids hanging beside my bed. I dont think theyre going to ask you to swallow anything.My heart rate started to climb. He read the fear in my eyes, and sighed in frustration.Bella, youre in pain. You need to relax so you can heal. Why are you being so difficult? Theyre not going to put any more needles in you now.Im not afraid of the needles, I mumbled. Im afraid to close my eyes.Then he smiled his crooked smile, and took my face between his hands. I told you Im not going anywhere. Dont be afraid. As long as it makes you happy, Ill be here.I smiled back, ignoring the ache i n my cheeks. Youre talking about forever, you know.Oh, youll get over it its just a crush.I shook my head in disbelief- it made me dizzy. I was shocked when Ren?e swallowed that one. I know you know better.Thats the beautiful thing about being human, he told me. Things change.My eyes narrowed. Dont hold your breath.He was laughing when the nurse came in, brandishing a syringe.Excuse me, she said brusquely to Edward.He got up and crossed to the end of the small room, leaning against the wall. He folded his arms and waited. I kept my eyes on him, still apprehensive. He met my gaze calmly.Here you go, honey. The nurse smiled as she injected the medicine into my tube. Youll feel better now.Thanks, I mumbled, unenthusiastic. It didnt take long. I could feel the drowsiness trickling through my bloodstream almost immediately.That ought to do it, she muttered as my eyelids drooped.She must have left the room, because something cold and smooth touched my face.Stay. The word was slurred.I w ill, he promised. His voice was beautiful, like a lullaby. Like I said, as long as it makes you happy as long as its whats best for you.I tried to shake my head, but it was too heavy. S not the same thing, I mumbled.He laughed. Dont worry about that now, Bella. You can argue with me when you wake up.I think I smiled. Kay.I could feel his lips at my ear.I love you, he whispered.Me, too.I know, he laughed quietly.I turned my head slightly searching. He knew what I was after. His lipstouched mine gently.Thanks, I sighed.Anytime.I wasnt really there at all anymore. But I fought against the stupor weakly. There was just one more thing I wanted to tell him.Edward? I struggled to pronounce his name clearly.Yes?Im betting on Alice, I mumbled.And then the night closed over me.EPILOGUEAN OCCASIONEdward helped me into his car, being very careful of the wisps of silk and chiffon, the flowers hed just pinned into my elaborately styled curls, and my bulky walking cast. He ignored the angry set of my mouth.When he had me settled, he got in the drivers seat and headed back out the long, narrow drive.At what point exactly are you going to tell me whats going on? I asked grumpily. I really hated surprises. And he knew that.Im shocked that you havent figured it out yet. He threw a mocking smile in my direction, and my breath caught in my throat. Would I ever get used to his perfection?I did have in mind that you looked very nice, didnt I? I verified.Yes. He grinned again. Id never seen him range in black before, and, with the contrast against his blench skin, his beauty was absolutely surreal. That much I couldnt deny, even if the fact that he was wearing a tux made me very nervous.Not quite as nervous as the queue up. Or the shoe. Only one shoe, as my other foot was still securely encased in plaster. But the stiletto heel, held on only by satin ribbons, certainly wasnt going to help me as I tried to hobble around.Im not approaching over anymore if Alice is going to treat me like Guinea Pig Barbie when I do, I griped. Id dog-tired the better part of the day in Alices staggeringly vast bathroom, a helpless victim as she played hairdresser and cosmetician. Whenever I fidgeted or complained, she reminded me that she didnt have any memories of being human, and asked me not to ruin her secondary fun. Then shed dressed me in the most ridiculous dress deep blue, frilly and off the shoulders, with french tags I couldnt read a dress more suitable for a runway than Forks. Nothing good could come of our formal attire, of that I was sure. Unless but I was afraid to put my suspicions into words, even in my own head.I was distracted then by the sound of a phone ringing. Edward pulled his cell phone from a pocket inside his jacket, looking briefly at the caller ID before answering.Hello, Charlie, he said warily.Charlie? I frowned.Charlie had been difficult since my return to Forks. He hadcompartmentalized my bad experience into two defined reactions. Toward Ca rlisle he was almost worshipfully grateful. On the other hand, he was stubbornly convinced that Edward was at fault because, if not for him, I wouldnt have left home in the first place. And Edward was far from disagreeing with him. These days I had rules that hadnt existed before curfews visiting hours.Something Charlie was saying made Edwards eyes widen in disbelief, and then a grin spread across his face.Youre kidding He laughed.What is it? I demanded.He ignored me. Why dont you let me talk to him? Edward suggested with evident pleasure. He waited for a few seconds.Hello, Tyler, this is Edward Cullen. His voice was very friendly, on the surface. I knew it well enough to catch the soft edge of menace. What was Tyler doing at my house? The awful truth began to dawn on me. I looked again at the inappropriate dress Alice had crusaded me into.Im sorry if theres been some kind of miscommunication, but Bella is unobtainable tonight. Edwards tone changed, and the threat in his voice wa s suddenly much more evident as he continued. To be perfectly honest, shell be unavailable every night, as far as anyone besides myself is concerned. No offense. And Im sorry about your evening. He didnt sound sorry at all. And then he snapped the phone shut, a huge smirk on his face.My face and neck flushed crimson with anger. I could feel the rage-induced tears starting to fill my eyes.He looked at me in surprise. Was that last part a bit too much? I didnt mean to despoil you.I ignored that.Youre taking me to the prom I yelled.It was embarrassingly obvious now. If Id been paying any trouble at all, Im sure I would have noticed the date on the posters that decorated the school buildings. But Id never dreamed he was thinking of subjecting me to this. Didnt he know me at all?He wasnt expecting the force of my reaction, that was clear. He pressed his lips together and his eyes narrowed. Dont be difficult, Bella.My eyes flashed to the window we were halfway to the school already.Why are you doing this to me? I demanded in horror.He gestured to his tuxedo. Honestly, Bella, what did you think we were doing?I was mortified. First, because Id missed the obvious. And also because the vague suspicions expectations, really that Id been forming all day, as Alice tried to transform me into a beauty queen, were so far wide of the mark. My half-fearful hopes seemed very silly now.Id guessed there was some kind of occasion brewing. But prom That was the furthest thing from my mind.The angry tears rolled over my cheeks. I remembered with dismay that I was very uncharacteristically wearing mascara. I wiped quickly under my eyes to prevent any smudges. My hand was unblackened when I pulled it away maybe Alice had know I would need waterproof makeup.This is completely ridiculous. Why are you crying? he demanded in frustration.Because Im madBella. He turned the full force of his scorching golden eyes on me.What? I muttered, distracted. irritation me, he insisted.His eyes were melting all my fury. It was impossible to fight with him when he cheated like that. I gave in with poor grace.Fine, I pouted, unable to glare as effectively as I would have liked. Ill go quietly. But youll see. Im way overdue for more bad luck. Ill probably break my other leg. Look at this shoe Its a death trap I held out my good leg as evidence.Hmmm. He stared at my leg longer than was necessary. Remind me to thank Alice for that tonight.Alice is going to be there? That comforted me slightly.With Jasper, and Emmett and Rosalie, he admitted.The feeling of comfort disappeared. There had been no progress with Rosalie, though I was on quite good terms with her sometimes-husband. Emmett enjoyed having me around he thought my bizarre human reactions were hilarious or maybe it was just the fact that I fell down a lot that he found so funny. Rosalie acted as if I didnt exist. While I shook my head to dispel the direction my thoughts had taken, I thought of something else.Is Charlie in on this? I asked, suddenly suspicious.Of course. He grinned, and then chuckled. Apparently Tyler wasnt, though.I gritted my teeth. How Tyler could be so delusional, I couldnt imagine. At school, where Charlie couldnt interfere, Edward and I were inseparable except for those rare sunny days.We were at the school now Rosalies red convertible was conspicuous in the parking lot. The clouds were thin today, a few streaks of sunlight escaping through far away in the west.He got out and walked around the car to open my door. He held out his hand.I sat stubbornly in my seat, arms folded, feeling a secret twinge of smugness. The lot was crowd with people in formal dress witnesses. He couldnt remove me forcibly from the car as he might have if wed been alone.He sighed. When someone wants to kill you, youre brave as a lion and then when someone mentions dancing He shook his head.I gulped. Dancing.Bella, I wont let anything hurt you not even yourself. I wont let go of you once, I promise.I th ought about that and suddenly felt much better. He could see that in my face.There, now, he said gently, it wont be so bad. He leaned down and wrapped one arm around my waist. I took his other hand and let him lift me from the car.He kept his arm tightly around me, supporting me as I limped toward the school.In Phoenix, they held proms in hotel ballrooms. This dance was in the gym, of course. It was probably the only room in town big enough for a dance. When we got inside, I giggled. There were actual balloon archesand twisted garlands of pastel crepe paper festooning the walls.This looks like a horror movie waiting to happen, I snickered.Well, he muttered as we slowly approached the ticket table he was carrying most of my weight, but I still had to shuffle and wobble my feet forward there are more than enough vampires present.I looked at the dance floor a wide gap had formed in the center of the floor, where two couples whirled gracefully. The other dancers pressed to the sides o f the room to give them space no one wanted to stand in contrast with such radiance. Emmett and Jasper were intimidating and flawless in classic tuxedos. Alice was striking in a black satin dress with geometric cutouts that bared large triangles of her snowy white skin. And Rosalie was well, Rosalie. She was beyond belief. Her vivid scarlet dress was backless, tight to her calves where it flared into a wide ruffled train, with a neckline that plunged to her waist. I pitied every girl in the room, myself included.Do you want me to bolt the doors so you can massacre the unsuspecting townsfolk? I whispered conspiratorially.And where do you fit into that scheme? He glared.Oh, Im with the vampires, of course.He smiled reluctantly. Anything to get out of dancing.Anything.He bought our tickets, then turned me toward the dance floor. I cringed against his arm and dragged my feet.Ive got all night, he warned.Eventually he towed me out to where his family was twirling elegantly if in a styl e totally unsuitable to the present time and music. I watched in horror.Edward. My throat was so prohibitionist I could only manage a whisper. I honestly cant dance I could feel the panic bubbling up inside my chest.Dont worry, silly, he whispered back. I can. He put my arms around his neck and lifted me to slide his feet under mine.And then we were whirling, too.I feel like Im five years old, I laughed after a few minutes of effortless waltzing.You dont look five, he murmured, pulling me closer for a second, so that my feet were briefly a foot from the ground.Alice caught my eye on a turn and smiled in encouragement I smiled back. I was surprised to realize that I was actually enjoying myself a little.Okay, this isnt half bad, I admitted.But Edward was stark(a) toward the doors, and his face was angry.What is it? I wondered aloud. I followed his gaze, disoriented by the spinning, but finally I could see what was bothering him. Jacob Black, not in a tux, but in a long-sleeved whi te shirt and tie, his hair smoothed back into his usual ponytail, was crossing the floor toward us.After the first shock of recognition, I couldnt help but feel bad for Jacob. He was clearly uncomfortable excruciatingly so. His face was apologetic as his eyes met mine.Edward snarled very quietly.Behave I hissed.Edwards voice was scathing. He wants to chat with you.Jacob reached us then, the overplus and apology even more evident on his face.Hey, Bella, I was hoping you would be here. Jacob sounded like hed been hoping the exact opposite. But his smile was just as warm as ever.Hi, Jacob. I smiled back. Whats up?Can I cut in? he asked tentatively, glancing at Edward for the first time. I was shocked to notice that Jacob didnt have to look up. He must have grown half a foot since the first time Id seen him.Edwards face was composed, his expression blank. His only answer was to set me carefully on my feet, and take a step back.Thanks, Jacob said amiably.Edward just nodded, looking at me intently before he turned to walk away.Jacob put his hands on my waist, and I reached up to put my hands on his shoulders.Wow, Jake, how tall are you now?He was smug. Six-two.We werent really dancing my leg made that impossible. Instead we swayed awkwardly from side to side without moving our feet. It was just as well the recent growth spurt had left him looking gangly and uncoordinated, he was probably no better a dancer than I was.So, how did you end up here tonight? I asked without legitimate curiosity. Considering Edwards reaction, I could guess.Can you believe my dad paid me twenty bucks to come to your prom? he admitted, slightly ashamed.Yes, I can, I muttered. Well, I hope youre enjoying yourself, at least. Seen anything you like? I teased, nodding toward a chemical group of girls lined up against the wall like pastel confections.Yeah, he sighed. But shes taken.He glanced down to meet my amusing gaze for just a second then we both looked away, embarrassed.You look rea lly pretty, by the way, he added shyly.Um, thanks. So why did Billy pay you to come here? I asked quickly, though I knew the answer.Jacob didnt seem grateful for the subject change he looked away, uncomfortable again. He said it was a safe place to talk to you. I swear the old man is losing his mind.I joined in his laughter weakly.Anyway, he said that if I told you something, he would get me that master cylinder I need, he confessed with a sheepish grin.Tell me, then. I want you to get your car finished. I grinned back. At least Jacob didnt believe any of this. It made the situation a bit easier. Against the wall, Edward was watching my face, his own face expressionless. I saw a sophomore in a pink dress eyeing him with timid speculation, but he didnt seem to be aware of her.Jacob looked away again, ashamed. Dont get mad, okay?Theres no way Ill be mad at you, Jacob, I assured him. I wont even be mad at Billy. Just say what you have to.Well this is so stupid, Im sorry, Bella he wan ts you to break up with your boyfriend. He asked me to tell you please. He shook his head in disgust.Hes still superstitious, eh?Yeah. He was kind of over the top when you got hurt down in Phoenix. He didnt believeJacob trailed off self-consciously.My eyes narrowed. I fell.I know that, Jacob said quickly.He thinks Edward had something to do with me getting hurt. It wasnt a question, and despite my promise, I was angry.Jacob wouldnt meet my eyes. We werent even bothering to sway to the music, though his hands were still on my waist, and mine around his neck.Look, Jacob, I know Billy probably wont believe this, but just so you know he looked at me now, responding to the new earnestness in my voice Edward really did save my life. If it werent for Edward and his father, Id be dead.I know, he claimed, but he sounded like my sincere words had affected him some. Maybe hed be able to convince Billy of this much, at least.Hey, Im sorry you had to come do this, Jacob, I apologized. At any r ate, you get your parts, right?Yeah, he muttered. He was still looking awkward upset.Theres more? I asked in disbelief. deflect it, he mumbled, Ill get a job and save the money myself.I glared at him until he met my gaze. Just spit it out, Jacob.Its so bad.I dont care. Tell me, I insisted.Okay but, geez, this sounds bad. He shook his head. He said to tell you, no, to warn you, that and this is his plural, not mine he lifted one hand from my waist and made little quotations marks in the air Well be watching. He watched warily for my reaction.It sounded like something from a mafia movie. I laughed out loud.Sorry you had to do this, Jake, I snickered.I dont mind that much. He grinned in relief. His eyes were appraising as they raked quickly over my dress. So, should I tell him you said to butt the hell out? he asked hopefully.No, I sighed. Tell him I said thanks. I know he means well.The air ended, and I dropped my arms.His hands hesitated at my waist, and he glanced at my bum leg . Do you want to dance again? Or can I help you get somewhere?Edward answered for me. Thats all right, Jacob. Ill take it from here.Jacob flinched, and stared wide-eyed at Edward, who stood just beside us.Hey, I didnt see you there, he mumbled. I guess Ill see you around, Bella. He stepped back, waving halfheartedly.I smiled. Yeah, Ill see you later.Sorry, he said again before he turned for the door.Edwards arms wound around me as the next song started. It was a little up-tempo for slow dancing, but that didnt seem to concern him. I leaned my head against his chest, content.Feeling better? I teased.Not really, he said tersely.Dont be mad at Billy, I sighed. He just worries about me for Charlies sake. Its nothing personal.Im not mad at Billy, he rectify in a clipped voice. But his son is irritating me.I pulled back to look at him. His face was very serious.Why?First of all, he made me break my promise.I stared at him in confusion.He half-smiled. I promised I wouldnt let go of you to night, he explained.Oh. Well, I forgive you.Thanks. But theres something else. Edward frowned.I waited patiently.He called you pretty, he finally continued, his frown deepening. Thats practically an insult, the way you look right now. Youre much more than beautiful.I laughed. You might be a little biased.I dont think thats it. Besides, I have slight eyesight.We were twirling again, my feet on his as he held me close.So are you going to explain the reason for all of this? I wondered.He looked down at me, confused, and I glared meaningfully at the crepe paper.He considered for a moment, and then changed direction, spinning me through the crowd to the back door of the gym. I caught a glimpse of Jessica and Mike dancing, staring at me curiously. Jessica waved, and I smiled back quickly. Angela was there, too, looking blissfully happy in the arms of little Ben Cheney she didnt look up from his eyes, a head lower than hers. Lee and Samantha, Lauren, glaring toward us, with Conner I could name every face that spiraled past me. And then we were outdoors, in the cool, dim light of a fading sunset.As soon as we were alone, he swung me up into his arms, and carried me across the dark grounds till he reached the bench beneath the empennage of the madrone trees. He sat there, keeping me cradled against his chest. The moon was already up, visible through the gauzy clouds, and his face glowed sentry in the white light. His mouth was hard, his eyes troubled.The point? I prompted softly.He ignored me, staring up at the moon.Twilight, again, he murmured. Another ending. No affair how perfect the day is, it always has to end.Some things dont have to end, I muttered through my teeth, instantly tense.He sighed.I brought you to the prom, he said slowly, finally answering my question, because I dont want you to miss anything. I dont want my presence to take anything away from you, if I can help it. I want you to be human. I want your life to continue as it would have if Id died in nineteen-eighteen like I should have.I shuddered at his words, and then shook my head angrily. In what strange parallel of latitude dimension would I ever have gone to prom of my own free will? If you werent a thousand times stronger than me, I would never have let you get away with this.He smiled briefly, but it didnt touch his eyes. It wasnt so bad, you said so yourself.Thats because I was with you.We were quiet for a minute he stared at the moon and I stared at him. I wished there was some way to explain how very indifferent I was in a normal human life.Will you tell me something? he asked, glancing down at me with a slight smile.Dont I always?Just promise youll tell me, he insisted, grinning.I knew I was going to regret this almost instantly. Fine.You seemed honestly surprised when you figured out that I was taking you here, he began.I was, I interjected.Exactly, he agreed. But you must have had some other theory Im curious what did you think I was dressing you up for?Yes, instant regret. I pursed my lips, hesitating. I dont want to tell you.You promised, he objected.I know.Whats the problem?I knew he thought it was mere embarrassment holding me back. I think it will make you mad or sad.His brows pulled together over his eyes as he thought that through. I still want to know. Please?I sighed. He waited.Well I assumed it was some kind of occasion. But I didnt think it would be some trite human thing prom I scoffed.Human? he asked flatly. Hed picked up on the key word.I looked down at my dress, fidgeting with a stray piece of chiffon. He waited in silence.Okay, I confessed in a rush. So I was hoping that you might have changed your mind that you were going to change me, after all.A dozen emotions played across his face. Some I recognized anger pain and then he seemed to collect himself and his expression became amused.You thought that would be a black tie occasion, did you? he teased, touching the lapel of his tuxedo jacket.I scowled to hide my embarra ssment. I dont know how these things work. To me, at least, it seems more rational than prom does. He was still grinning. Its not funny, I said.No, youre right, its not, he agreed, his smile fading. Id rather treat it like a joke, though, than believe youre serious.But I am serious.He sighed deeply. I know. And youre really that willing?The pain was back in his eyes. I bit my lip and nodded.So ready for this to be the end, he murmured, almost to himself, for this to be the twilight of your life, though your life has barely started. Youre ready to give up everything.Its not the end, its the beginning, I disagreed under my breath.Im not worth it, he said sadly.Do you remember when you told me that I didnt see myself very clearly? I asked, raising my eyebrows. You obviously have the same blindness.I know what I am.I sighed.But his mercurial mood shifted on me. He pursed his lips, and his eyes were probing. He examined my face for a long moment.Youre ready now, then? he asked.Um. I gulp ed. Yes?He smiled, and inclined his head slowly until his cold lips brushed against the skin just under the corner of my jaw.Right now? he whispered, his breath blowing cool on my neck. I shivered involuntarily.Yes, I whispered, so my voice wouldnt have a chance to break. If he thought I was bluffing, he was going to be disappointed. Id already made this decision, and I was sure. It didnt matter that my body was rigid as a plank, my hands balled into fists, my breathing erraticHe chuckled darkly, and leaned away. His face did look disappointed.You cant really believe that I would give in so easily, he said with a tart edge to his mocking tone.A girl can dream.His eyebrows rose. Is that what you dream about? Being a addict?Not exactly, I said, frowning at his word choice. Monster, indeed. Mostly I dream about being with you forever.His expression changed, softened and saddened by the subtle ache in my voice.Bella. His fingers lightly traced the shape of my lips. I will stay with yo u isnt that enough?I smiled under his fingertips. Enough for now.He frowned at my tenacity. No one was going to surrender tonight. He exhaled, and the sound was practically a growl.I touched his face. Look, I said. I love you more than everything else in the world combined. Isnt that enough?Yes, it is enough, he answered, smiling. Enough for forever.And he leaned down to press his cold lips once more to my throat.